sugarfasting

I have to admit that I caved. In a way. I mean did not eat the list of candy I craved a few days before, including chocolate bars, cupcakes, cookies, cake, tiramisu, toffees, puddings and so on. But bought myself some yoghurt. with fruit in it. And they are almost as bad as candy, but I could not really help it. I suffer severely from PMS and yesterday was that time of month. I guess that yoghurt is kind of a compromise between the stuff I normally buy and the apples I should have gotten instead. Apart from the yoghurt I have also started to eat more fruit again. From time to time, as a treat, I feel like I have to eat something sweet and at least fruit also has a lot of fiber, so it is not as bad as candy.

Apart from that my 17 days of not eating sugar so far have not been a healthy affair at all. I feel like I compensate the lack of sugar with the help of more calories and more fat. I used to eat much healthier, less cheese, less flour, more veggies. But I can't seem to help it much. I read in Robert Lustig's book that often our brain replaces one product we crave with another, if one addiction cannot be satisfied. I am not addicted to bad food, but I cannot deny the satisfaction, salty or fatty food gives me at the moment.

Interestingly enough, shopping is not as horrible as I thought it might be. I got used to not pay the candy section of my stores any attention. (If it is not pms day). I will keep you updated on how the sugarfree time goes on.

Sweets for my sweet….

… sugar for my honey: Hello, my name is Selina and I am a sugar-addict. Yes, I confess. There is nothing as hard for me to resist as chocolate, ice-cream and Co. If I didn’t knew it was sabotaging my health I could live on sweets. Pudding, cake, you name it. Everything.

A part of me really likes the feeling to eat healthy food though, so I am interested in getting to know more about nutrition, which is how I found out about Dr. Robert Lustig. He is a medical doctor, a pediatrician with a focus on obesity. During his studies he found out how sugar, fat and obesity intermingle. I know that some aspects of his theory might be debatable, but actually critics have not really had a point when trying to confute him. A lecture he gave on the dangers of sugar is found on youtube, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

Last year, I was fed up with the power sugary food has over me and I abstained from sugar for about three weeks. (Until I found myself on the wedding of a friend with great dessert and cake, but that was ok, I only wanted to show myself, that I do not have to eat sugar on a regular basis.) For 2014 I thought lent would be a good timespan to once again let sugar go for a time. There are several reasons why fasting in lent makes sense: a) it is a defined timespan, so you know when you are about to be released; b) everyone knows about lent, so they won’t ask as many questions; c) you might shape your body a bit while fasting, good for better weather, plus d) I think living healthily in general is easier when the weather is good (maybe due to less stress symptoms).  

So I started on carnival, Monday before last. Sugarfree food also means, no sweet stuff, no xylit, or other sugar-substitutes, especially no artificial ones like aspartame (even more poisonous than sugar). I tried the strategy to let go of every sweet taste, in theory including even fruit. But I didn’t make it. The fruit-abstinence. So I still try to eat more veggies than fruit but once in a while I will eat a pear or a Kiwi. It works well, as the fruit now are like a special treat for me, substituting Snickers and KitKat.

Out of bad conscience I even googled how much sugar a Kiwi had. 9 grams. Quite a lot, I think. A banana 12 g, which I think is little, seeing how on a diet, fruit is ok, as long as it is not bananas or grapes. Well, I enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, craving does not get much better. I thought after a few days (12^th day now) it would improve, but whether it is the beautiful spring weather that makes me want to devour ice-cream and cake outside, or other reasons, I don’t know. Maybe it won’t get better. But I made it so far, like a fourth of the time, so I am pretty sure I will make it. But it is hard. Maria, from http://craftymaria.blogspot.de/ writes that she didn’t eat sugar in January and that she didn’t really mind. I have great respect for her. For me that seems to be impossible, I think about sugar a lot when I cannot have it.

If you are interested in the body-functions relating to sugar, please read “Fat Chance” by Robert Lustig. I am only half way through, but the insights the book gave me are priceless. I have the feeling that every page is like a bit of a revelation to me. Unfortunately the book cover looks like a diet-guidebook, which is why I am always a bit ashamed when I take it out in public. It is however full of scientific insights and highly political. Lustig detects several mechanisms in our body that can make us obese or also sabotage our health, even if we are of average shape. Insulin-resistance is the main problem, which will make sure that all you energy is stored into fat-cells. While insulin is high, when you are resistant, the leptin in your body, which will tell your brain when you are full and satisfied is blocked. Therefore, insulin-resistant people’s bodies will feel like starving bodies and react like them. They will make you eat as much as possible, mostly fatty and sugary food as they have a high energy-density, and make you move as little as possible (not to loose more energy). In addition to this, stress causes the production of cortisole, a hormone that causes even more energy-storage, saving up for a rainy day, if you will. Dr. Lustig’s approach is very medical and fact-driven, but I think it might be a good explanation why there are more diets and exercise-trends now than ever before, but at the same time more obese people than ever before.

It is definitely true for me that if I have a bad day and feel stressed out by something my craving for sugar gets worse and worse. Yesterday was bad. I had to stay at home because of my migraine and felt useless and hopeless. To tell you the truth I was an inch from calling the whole fasting off and indulging in loads and loads of sugary food. But I resisted. Cooled down and it worked. I was much better in the evening already.

There is a lot to loose besides honour: Mr. Schön offered me a deal: He would pay for vibram running shoes that I wanted to buy for my own, when lent is over, if I make it through the time. In case I don’t make it I would have to pay him back the money for the shoes, plus 500 Euro go to a party I hate like hell, e.g. the Nazi-party NPD. (I found this idea in the book “Drop dead healthy” by A.J. Jacobs, another great read.) Actually it is motivation enough not to give those dumbasses my precious money to keep fasting. Great idea, hm?

I will tell you how it will work out for me during those next 5 weeks. I already learned two things: it is important to keep yourself busy and to always eat enough not to be super-hungry.

Goodbye 2013

Oh no, almost one third of the new year is over and I haven’t written a Goodbye-Post for 2013. I can certainly say that I have the feeling as if 2014 will kick 2013`s ass! So far we have had the most beautiful spring ever, blue sky almost everyday and even carnival was warm and sunny as never before.

Looking back the winter of 2013 was truly horrible. I like snow and ice, but when it is dark and cold for six months, I get depressed. And many others do, too, which is why everyone felt a bit like hungover from winter during the first months of 2013. (Plus I detected a severe thyroid hypofunktion, which had added up to my bad mood.)

The worst thing happening to me in 2013 was certainly the passing away of my dog, Lily. She was suffering from cancer, so it was pretty clear she wouldn’t make it much longer, but it was nonetheless a bitter and very sad experience. With all the horror of the day we had to finally decide to put her to sleep, I learned that death can be a very peaceful experience, as it must have been a relief for Lily suffering severely from the cancer. (I am tearing up as I am writing, I will definitely miss that very special dog all my life.)

Sleep tight, little one.

Canoeing in Spreewald and looking as smart as a future PhD should ;-)
(I tried to turn the picture,
but apparently it doesn't want to be turned)

2013 was also the year of new projects. One of them is my PhD. I haven’t started yet, so it is still on the agenda. But doing your PhD next to a fulltime job proves rather difficult. Especially for a sloth like me… Though I know it will be hard work and will cut into my even now short time of fun with friends and deprive me of sleep, I love the thought of digging into one topic as deep as no one before, becoming the extra-expert and reading and watching tv till my eyes fall out. Oh yes, did I not mention I am a media scientist? Which is why writing my Master thesis meant watching a lot of tv, lots and lots. And going to the movies. Now I can’t think of a better career than one that makes you watch tv and movies. That is why I want to do it all again. Writing my master thesis was one of the happiest and most relaxed time of my life. And when I read the thesis today I still cannot believe that it was me, who wrote it. Not, because it is so great, but because I have forgotten half of it. This year I put the PhD back on the list and have started to read my Master thesis again which shall be the starting point for the new project, plus I made contact with people who have gone through the same procedure (as writing a PhD thesis is not only reading and writing but a lot of bureaucracy, which I hate more than anything in the world. So, I guess from summer 2014 on I will be a PhD student, working halftime and watching television for work. Yay! (Plus I am doing it for my better half, who (and maybe a part of him is telling the truth here) would love to be a “Herr Doktor”. Hilarious.)

2013 also meant a great summer holiday. I have never been a big fan of beach holidays. Staying in one place for two weeks and doing the same routine everyday, no thank you, I’d rather stay at home and go to work. Which is why last year we took two weeks off and decided to make a roadtrip. Around Germany. (That is kind of a bold decision, because summerweather in Germany is highly unreliable and can mean two weeks of rain.) We were so unbelievably lucky and had the best weather. Sunny Spreewald, sunny Berlin. Sunny Hamburg. Sunny Cuxhaven, sunny Baltic sea, Northern sea  and sunny Bremen. It was amazing. We went canoeing in the jungly-looking Spreewald, went to see many great friends in Berlin (starting to really like this city) and watched the sundown in Hamburg harbour. After a ten k-run we took a naked bath in the Baltic sea and when all the camping and sleep-overs got on our nerves, we spent a night in a wellness-hotel. Such a great spontaneous time, without plan, drifting and loving it. 

Last but not least 2013 was the year of DIY. Once you start with projects of Upcycling, reading DIY blogs and talking to your friends about it, it feels like a whole cosmos. Everything can be done. By yourself. This is such a great feeling, I fall in love with it everyday. I started serious knitting and got much more creative and I love it.

This will lead me to 2014: there is a lot to learn. I started learning Italian as I have wanted to like, for ages. And I invited my Mom to come with me to London, my favourite city of all times. I think going on holiday with your mom is a pretty cool thing once you are my age. Plus, she is so eager to learn more English, that is darn cute.

One of my goals of 2014 was : more going to the movies. Well accomplished so far (2 times last weekend) and all of the movies have been great in their way. (I loved e.g. Grand Budapest Hotel and American Hustle), more reading (also accomplished so far. Reading at the moment: Fat Chance, by Robert Lustig. Very interesting, very scientific, but easy to understand book about obesity and sugar.) As there are so many babies born in 2014 – there are always a lot of babies born, but this year it will be a lot I will get to know personally – there will be many opportunities to get better at knitting. I would love to learn some Fair Isle-knitting by the end of 2014. Let’s see how that goes, I will definitely keep you updated.

Let’s have a cheer for 2014, as it has been so good to us so far, hooray 2014!

As some of you may have noticed, my last blog-entry is written in German. As much as I love English and as useful as it is, sometimes it is just easier to write in my mother tongue. One half of me feels like it should be ashamed of itself, having studied English and having spent quite some time in England, I should really not make a fuss about it and just get it done and the other half tells me “It is your blog, you write it for your pleasure, so if German is easier for you then write it in German”.

Considering the internet and it’s multicultural and international dimensions, which I love so dearly about it, I really should write in English. Plus, it helps me to improve my vocabulary.

Germany, or at least the part of it where I come from, the Rheinland, is famous for it’s carnival. It’s a pity that carnival here means 3 ° and rain, but then again it was traditionally celebrated to drive winter out of town and welcome spring, so I guess celebrating it in the middle of July wouldn’t make much sense. Everyone puts on a costume, usually drinks a lot of alcohol and – after a while – loves everyone around them. The music is horrible (carnival Volksmusik, horrible, I tell you) but I love the costume part. All my life I have loved to dress up as a different character, I have been fascinated by fashion (especially fashion of past eras) and –for a few years now – make up. Although I do not wear much make up in my everyday life ( I guess I am just too lazy), I love what you can do with make up skills. You can turn a man into a woman, make a slim person fat and the other way round. Hollywood shows us every single day. Thanks to the treasure of the world wide web you can find make up-tutorials of any kind online, whether you want to look like a Victorian gentleman or Frank’ n ’Furter. My favourite make-up artists on youtube are the two sisters of pixiwoo. Check out their channel, it is amazing what they can do with a brush and some paint:

http://www.youtube.com/user/pixiwoo

I found them when I was googling how to be the best Amy Winehouse I could become. (It was my costume for a Christmas party at work. Unfortunately I was not the only one, I think there were 3 or 4 of us. But I definitely wore the best make up ;-) And tattoos! (You could actually get the original Amy-tattoos as stickers)) Until now youtube has helped me with many of my costumes. The zombie-look can be so easy, e.g. Or 20s make up. Mr. Schön and me, we like to host parties and we like to host motto-parties (I know, a lot of people hate motto parties, but we never heard any complaints. And we would let people enter without costumes, but our friends are amazing dressers, when it comes to costumes. Maybe that is the influence of carnival…) For one of our birthday parties (we celebrated the 60^th, cause together we were 60) we decides to have a 20s party. I had seen a wall of great pictures from the 20s in a café I liked and I wanted to have one wall like that myself, but with my friends looking as if they were in the 20s. Does that description make any sense? Anyhow, we had a great party. Due to the idea of a photo-wall I wanted everyone to look as genuine as possible and was prepared with make up, stolas, whigs, etc. But the costumes were amazing, one looked more stunning than the other, I loved all their looks!

 When I look at those pictures today I am more and more impressed at what my friends can pull off. They all look gorgeous and I think we should definitely rethink our current fashion style. Maybe it is time that flapper-dresses and dark and heavy eyelids come back. (Truth be told, I really think that gloves should have a comeback, they make every outfit all the more elegant. Plus, most of us have icy hands all the time anyway, don't we? But who am I kidding, I am not even wearing gloves myself, although I think I should. Will try it in the future.)

Although our birthdays are in October and November, we still haven’t celebrated the last ones and might do that in summer, as we have a big balcony which is of not much use in winter (aside from some sad smokers standing outside in the rain). I thought of different options for a motto: either Mad Men, so 60s. 50s. Villains. (did that once, great party) or just characters from film or television. Mmmh…. I haven’t decided yet, but I will surely show you how the costumes turned out this time. 

Viele Blog-Einträge der letzten Monate befassen sich mit Achtsamkeit und dem Slow-Movement. Überall liest man von Meditationsweisen, Yoga und Time-Out. Insgesamt gliedert sich diese Achtsamkeits-Debatte ja auch sehr gut in Ansprüche an Nachhaltigkeit und ökologischem Handeln. Logischerweise lässt sich unsere Verschwendung nur eindämmen, wenn wir achtsamer, bewusster konsumieren und lernen, innezuhalten und dankbarer zu sein, für das, was uns die Natur gibt, um uns von ihr zu ernähren.

Nun habe ich das Gefühl, dass die bisherige Bewegung, mindestens seit der industriellen Revolution, vermutlich aber auch schon früher, in eine ganz andere Richtung geht. Wir sollen immer produktiver werden, mehr in weniger Zeit schaffen und darauf sind Wirtschaft und Industrie ausgelegt. Errungenschaften wie Wasch- oder Spülmaschine, vom Mikrowellengericht zur Videokonferenz sind allesamt Erfindungen, die uns helfen, Zeit zu sparen. Nicht erst seit den Grauen Männern in Michael Endes Momo erkennen wir, dass die gesamte Maschinerie auf einem Trugschluss begründet ist. Man hat nicht mehr Zeit, das zu tun, was einem gut tut, sondern man erledigt einfach mehr. Einerseits möchte ich natürlich nicht mehr meine Wäsche über einem Waschbrett im Holzzuber wringen, andererseits denke ich, dass vermeintlich „einfachen“ Tätigkeiten viel mehr Aufmerksamkeit und Respekt zukommen sollte.

Hier muss ich an Marx’ These der Entfremdung denken, die mir schon immer ziemlich einleuchtend erschien. Die meisten unserer heutigen Tätigkeiten sind wenig produktiv. Wir bedienen Knöpfe, schreiben auf Plastik-Tastaturen, unser Leben, auch beruflich, wird immer abstrakter. Und heraus kommt? Nichts. Oder selten etwas Greifbares und wirklich Befriedigendes. Es entsteht selten der von Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi beschriebene Zustand des “flow”, Multi-Tasking macht dies unmöglich. Interessanterweise ist unserem stetigen Streben nach Produktivität mit der Einführung des Taylorismus der Grundstein gelegt worden, der allerdings – grob vereinfacht, ich bin kein Experte – besagt, dass sich die Produktivität steigern lässt, wenn die Arbeit in Schritte aufgeteilt wird und sich jeder auf einen Abschnitt konzentriert. Multi-Tasking ist hier also eher unerwünscht. Heutzutage steht das Essen auf dem Herd, die Waschmaschine kümmert sich um die Wäsche, während wir ab und an umrühren, erledigen wir die Steuer, telefonieren zwischendurch mit dem Steuerberater und schreiben unseren Freunden, um den kommenden Abend zu planen. Und so geht es einen ganz großen Teil der Zeit. Kein Wunder also, dass sich so absurde Produkte den Weg bahnen müssen, wie eine „Offline-Time App“, in der das Handy mal künstlich zu einer Auszeit zwingt. Wie paradox und krank es eigentlich ist, dass ein technisches Gerät mich daran erinnern muss, dass ich auch ohne es auskommen kann ist glaube ich jedem klar.

Nun ist die Frage, ob die ganze Debatte über Achtsamkeit und Quality-Time (Anglizismen bedeuten in der Regel genau das Gegenteil von Auszeit und „Zeit nehmen“, oder bin ich hier vorurteilbehaftet?) eine Meta-Idee ist oder in den ganzen Strudel der Selbstoptimierung gehört und dem Streben nach Perfektionismus unserer Zeit geschuldet ist. Wir müssen attraktive, aufgeklärte, emanzipierte Frauen, aufgeklärte und verständnisvolle Partnerinnen, erfolgreiche Unternehmerinnen und natürlich auch gerne gute Mütter sein. Und ja, Zeit für sich nehmen sollte man auch unbedingt. Meditieren ist schick. Yoga sowieso. Und damit man dabei auch noch den Anspruch auf gutes Aussehen abdeckt, blinkt Zalando uns in großen Lettern seine Sportkleidung entgegen. Doch tun wir hier wirklich etwas für uns? Hilft uns das „Slow Movement“ aus dem Hamsterrad der ewigen eigenen / äußeren Ansprüche an die eigene Person auszubrechen? Ich bin nicht sicher. Aber von Hause aus eher Optimist, mag ich es glauben. Ich glaube an eine Welt der Guerilla-Gärtner, der Mehrgenerationen-Häuser und der Auszeiten. Und dass wir es lernen können, zu erkennen, was im Leben wirklich wichtig ist. Und das sind eben nicht ein dickes Auto, der Prestige-Job oder die schicken Kinder.

Sondern die Meta-Ebene. Sich der Umwelt nicht nur für einen kurzen Moment, sondern lange genug zu entziehen, um zu merken, womit man sich beschäftigen möchte. Und diese Momente findet man eben oft in Tätigkeiten, die wir an Roboter abgeben. Mechanische Tätigkeiten, die den Körper beschäftigen und den Geist leer laufen lassen. Ein Auto waschen, Gemüse schneiden, spazieren gehen, ein Bild malen, stricken, einen Zaun streichen, all diese Bewegungsabläufe helfen uns, die Gedanken zu befreien und erst einmal eine Meta-Ebene einzunehmen. Großartig funktioniert das in der Natur. Wenn man Bäume um sich herum hat, oder Wasser, idealerweise ist man allein und besinnt sich ganz auf die Schönheit, die einen umgibt. Aber manchmal reicht einfach auch ein atemberaubender Sonnenaufgang auf dem Weg zur Arbeit, um uns Demut zu lehren und zeigt, wie man den Moment genießt und auskostet.

Stricken ist Zen pur

Nun ist es natürlich nicht immer einfach, den Geist zu entleeren, vor allem, wenn man so viele Dinge hat, die man tun und erledigen muss / will. Aber „flow“ entsteht auch, wenn man sich einfach einer Sache sehr ergiebig widmet, was bedeutet, wir müssen mindestens mal die Dinge, die wir gerne tun, auch richtig tun, mit vollem Herzen und voller Seele. Ein sehr bewährtes Mittel sind Sport und Sex. Beide großartig geeignet, muss ich nicht weiter drauf eingehen. Wer hier die richtigen Umstände für sich gefunden hat, wird mir beipflichten. Sich einer Sache ganz verschreiben, das muss nicht mit körperlicher Aktivität zu tun haben, ich finde tiefe Seelenruhe, wenn ich mich in ein Buch vertiefe, oder sogar einer ganzen Reihe von Büchern zu einem bestimmten Thema, z.B. wenn man sich, einfach weil es einen interessiert, eine Corpus verschiedener Bücher zulegt oder leiht und in ihnen quasi verschwindet. Ich habe schon seit einiger Zeit den Ehrgeiz und den Wunsch, mehr über unsere Ernährung zu erfahren und über meinen Körper zu verstehen. Dieser Wunsch passt insgesamt sehr gut zu der Meta-Idee von mehr Achtsamkeit. Und es hilft. Ich befinde mich regelmäßig in einer Welt, die ganz weit von meiner aktuellen Wirklichkeit liegt und trotzdem mit ihr zu tun hat. Ich tauche ab und habe dabei das Gefühl mir gut zu tun. Der Vorteil an dem Inhalt meiner „Forschungsreise“ ist natürlich der, das auch der Inhalt und das Wissen, das ich mir aneigne zu mehr Achtsamkeit führt. Aber auch wenn man sich über technische Geräte informiert, die ja dem Inhalt nach selten im Dienste der Achtsamkeit stehen, ist die Aktivität selbst, wenn man es richtig macht, dem flow verschrieben. Das ist doch eine wunderbare Nachricht: Jeder findet etwas, das ihn so interessiert und fasziniert, das er seinen Geist wandern lassen kann und das Multi-Tasking mal für einen Moment vergisst.

Wir leben in einer tollen, faszinierenden und auch schönen Welt, wir sollten nur mal öfter innehalten um uns ihrer gewahr zu werden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Gartenarbeit ist perfekt, um ein gutes Flow-Erlebnis zu haben, besonders weil die Ergebnisse dann auch noch so schön sind

Girls’ Night

There is nothing like a night spent with your best girlfriends, chatting, eating great food, and crafting your way through the evening. I am glad that Mr. Schön and me have a lot of things in common, in fact we find new hobbies we both love every other day. At the moment we do a lot of running, healthy cooking and watching tv series (The Walking Dead has hooked me!), besides the going out with friends a lot. But from time to time it is just as great that everyone of us has their own hobbies. So we have plenty to talk about and time to recharge the batteries on our own. Him, e.g. by playing Ingress (ever heard of it? If you haven’t check it out, you might enjoy it), me by crafting, knitting, crocheting and sowing.

Ladies’ Night is – as you can guess – one of this recharging-nights. We talk about everything, no taboos, and a lot of compassion, laughing and understanding. Plus, we are ultra-productive, in our mending / knitting – activities.

I can still remember, when I used to study, in Bochum, we had a fairly regular ladies’ night as well, (different girls than now) and the guys always talked about going to peephole and trying to overhear our conversations. (I bet they imagined sweaty pillow fights and pyjama-parties) But I guess the eavesdropping would have given them quite some insights into womens’ minds and problems. We girls should think about maybe sharing some of our deep insights for, let’s say back massages or any other kind of nice favour. Quid pro Quo.

Off to girls’ night now. Meet your friends and celebrate, knit and play, enjoy having them near you, they are as special as anyone can be.

I have been knitting like hell and not telling you about it, which I think, is unfair.

Are you an ordered and correct knitter, always finishing one project before starting the next?

Well, I am not. Definitely not. From time to time I continue to work on cardigans started long ago, but in between I am either knitting presents for friends or I feel like I have to do something with THIS wool and THIS needle. A small hat or gloves, something that will be finished in a short amount of time. I just need success, people, otherwise I tend to give up easily.

My extended three weeks of Christmas holidays were perfect for it. I knit a hot bottle-warmer for my mom, a hat for my Dad, several mittens, a hat for my grandma and quite a lot of other stuff. But also something for myself: a skirt in a chessboard-pattern.

So far I haven't been wearing it much, but the only reason for that is, that I own so many dresses and skirts, I simply forget about itt when I am not searching my wardrobe for something. 

Even if you are an inexperienced knitter, making a skirt is not too difficult, you don't even need a book or magazine for it. Just nice wool, an idea and then you have to measure your waist, create a gauge and then do the math.

It took me some time and it wasn't one of the shortest projects I ever made, but it is definitely worth it.