Home Alone

Our aim: A relaxed Lisek when he is home alone

We have had Lisek for over a year now and we cannot imagine to be without him anymore. Only two days ago we had brought him to a friend and we kept on forgetting that he was not there, wondering why he didn't come when we called. You get so used to having the little ones around. We always take him anywhere, as he cannot stay home alone. I don't have to mention that it is a hassle; no matter where you go, you always have to put him somewhere or take him. We haven't been to the cinema for ages, at parties we always ask whether we can take him and what I miss most is the regular sauna going.
As difficult as it is to leave him at home, as easy is it to take him anywhere. At a friend's 30s birthday he lay on the dancefloor, sleeping while people were dancing all around him. In restaurants, he immediately falls asleep, he generally is quiet and calm.
As long as we are around. Whenever he is left alone, he is nervous and he used to bark for hours. He doesn't destroy our interiour, which is good, but we were sorry not only for the dog, but our neighbours. We are on good terms with the neighbours, so when he was barking, making them crazy, they just texted us and we came back.
We installed a camera, to check on him, when we left him alone. Also we are using an app, called the dog monitor, that writes a protocol about the barking activities of your dog. With the help of these monitoring possibilities we at least could check on him and analyse the status of our problem.

It was severe, Lisek usually stayed calm for ten to twenty minutes and then he started to jump on the furniture and bark. I had read that leaving him in an enclosed environment can give dogs a feeling of safety, so we decided to always leave him in the living room when he has to stay home alone. Whenever he noticed that we got ready for leaving him, he would start to whine and get really nervous.

So I started reading. Our last dog had the same problem and it was limiting us whenever we wanted to do something outside of the house. When we got Lisek I swore we would teach him to stay home, no matter what. Teaching a dog to stay home alone is probably the most diffcult task of dogtraining. You cannot enforce good behaviour while you are away and it is a natural urge to be with the pack.

I learned that there are two causes for dogs who cannot stay home alone: separation anxiety and control issues. If your dog is howling when alone and stays very close to you, also when you are outside, chances are that she really suffers from separation anxiety. When he is rather barking angrily, when at home and doesn't care much about you when you are outside for a walk, plus when he often stands in your way, he might rather suffer from control issues. Lily, our old dog had separation anxiety, which is really difficult to train, Lisek has control issues. which can have to do with his position in the pack.
He feels responsible for us from time to time, a reason why he might be stressed when left alone. Also dogs who suffer from this problem might have an issue with self control. To train this and also to tire him out when we are outside I train "stay" with Lisek often. Either he just has to stay while I walk away, or - which is much harder for him - when I throw the ball.

So what can you do about it? In the case of separation anxiety and control issues, one element is key: proceed slowly. Train the dog to lie on his blanket and not to follow you around in the apartment. So far Lisek was allowed in every room, but apparently it can help to establish taboo zones, so now he is always told off when he enters the bathroom. He also was pretty free to lie everywhere in the livingroom, apart from the sofa. We have a red carpet, which when he is lying on it, has to be hoovered every day. Now he is only allowed on his dog bed, we have to invite him to lie on the carpet. We even walk into the apartment before him now, and so on and so on. There is much more limitation to his life now, also he has to stay right next to us or behind us on the leash. All of these are ways we want to show him that we are the responsible ones and that he can relax. Sometimes, when I sent him away at first, I felt like a horrible person, but it turns out he really responds well to it.

When we first started training to leave him, I only closed the door of the living room for a second, then opened it again. Several times a day. Then for ten seconds, thirty seconds, a minute and so on. When the dog is still relaxed. lying on his bed, everything is ok. When your dog is getting up and starting to get nervous, go back to a shorter time period again and start anew. After a while you might be able to leave him in the room for a long time.

It can help - if your dog is not destroying stuff- to leave an old t-shirt with your smell for him, that way he might miss you less and feel more secure.

Another good advise I found was, if your dog gests anxious when you put on shoes, take your keys or put on your jacket, you should delete their connection to you leaving. So you just put these clothes on from time to time without anything happening. Once your dog stays relaxed when you collect your stuff and put your shoes on, the connection between them and you going away is deleted. You can proceed with the rest of the training.

Treats can make staying home a bit sweeter

One small tipp, but also fun for us was, to make the time you are away interesting for your dog. For this you need a toy, maybe one you can fill with treats, but you do not give it to your dog. Instead, you put it on a shelf, and a few times a day, you take it into your hands and make a big fuss about it. Give it to your partner or your children, let them make a fuss about it as well, oohing and aahing. The dog will be super excited about it, but you just put it back on the shelf.
The next step: you put the toy on the floor, and tell your dog not to touch it. Put it back on the shelf.
Next step: you give it to him, leave the room immediately, come back after ten seconds, take it away and put it on the shelf again. Proceed with 20 seconds the next day and so on. The dog will want you to leave the room for longer periods of time and appreciate the time alone. I bought a Kong ball that you can fill with treats (Kong are the only toys Lisek hasn't managed to destroy yet)



We did all of this and have managed to leave Lisek for an hour without barking now. He is also much more relaxed when he knows that we are going to leave. When I work from home during the week, I leave him as often as possible, for an hour and check what he is doing and how nervous he is. I always hope he will eventually sleep while we are away, but so far he is waiting for us to come back.

Another good advise: Take them on a long walk, play with them and make them really tired before you leave the dog alone. That is what I do, I only leave him when he is tired, so that he has the chance to relax.

A further note: Do not say goodbye to the dog, just leave him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. At the moment I often sit in the hallway to our apartment and watch Lisek on the screen of my phone. It is a good idea to leave the dog alone for several times a day (but only the amount of time he can already handle!) and when you come back in, to ignore him for a while. When you enter and get him all excited, the dog will be nervous by anticipating your arrival. I have read that once you manage to leave the dog for over an hour, he won't notice the difference between two and three or six hours, which I don't believe, but I keep my fingers crossed.

Next week I will try to leave him for 1,5 hours. Another important thing: do not go back to your dog when he is howling or barking, as you are enforcing the behaviour your dog is showing at that moment. Be sure that he is quiet the minute you enter your apartment.

Good luck !

Creative Day - Dog Bed and Collar

Today I was really inspired to sew something, after a long time of only knitting. One reason is Lisek. who is mastering lying on his own bed at the moment. It is part of training him to be quiet while staying home alone: to assign him his very own place and to forbid him to lie anywhere else.

Also, he gets all his treats in his bed now, which is why it quickly looks pretty horrible and has to be washed. As we had bought only one bed I decided to make him another one, in order to be able to wash either one. There was so much nice fabric to choose from, I decided on one strawberry pattern and one with white hearts on green. I filled it with little plastic balls, which I sew an inlay for, so that I can still wash the outer parts.


If you want to make a bed yourself:

You cut two big pieces measuring 100 and 70 cm,
two stripes measure 110 x 15 cm
two that measure 80 x 15 cm

Then you sew the fitting stripes to the first big piece, putting right side onto right side. Make sure that the stitching of all four pieces meet, in order to close all the gaps. When you are finished, you close the sides, also by making the stitches meet the stitches from the upper part. After that you sew the bottom part to it, right side facing right side, but make sure you leave a rather big gap you can later close with the help of buttons, if you like.

Sew all the sides to the top

Leave a gap for the inlay or filling - maybe bigger than this 

The inlay can be made the same way, but actually, I just took a big piece of cloth that measured 220 x 80 cm and joined all the sides except for one whole on the side, to fill it with material, and then closed the "gap". Here I used a zigzag stitch in order to make it really stable and flexible at the same time, so none of the horrible little pastic balls escape.

That's my inlay

It was quite a hassle to put the inlay into the cover, as I had made the whole a little bit too small. In the end I succeeded and made a poor puppy lie on the bed. I think it will take Lisek some time to love it as much as his other bed, as he is not used to dig a little whole into his bed, but I think he will like it eventually. It looks super cute to see him lie in it already.

Another thing I made today was a new collar for the little one, fitting his turquoise leash that he already has. I also like the fabric for the collar a lot. If you want to make a collar for your dog as well, be sure to get all the extra parts, like the metal ring and the latch. To make it a secure collar, you need to sew in squares like I did here. That way there is no danger of the seam to rip open. I took another collar I really like as a model.

Still not sooo comfortable

... but being a dutiful dog, Lisek still stays on his bed, as told

Better already....

One sentence per picture

Painting the old Balcony Tiles

Our Balcony (Before)

Beautiful Düsseldorf

Fusion Festival

Picnic in the Park

Finally, Lisek likes to go into the water

Yoga Dog (See the red carpet? It is covered in dog fur within an instant *sigh*)

Catching Ball with Mr. Schön

Cuteness in Fur

B and w version of a self portrait

First Stocking is done

Camper Van Chillin at the Mosel

Recognition - Jewish Film Festival Düsseldorf

Movie poster of "Recognition"

One of my former roommates is also working in the field of media: She arranged the Jewish Film Festival of the Filmmuseum Düsseldorf. A while ago she asked us, whether one of the visiting artists could stay at our place for a few days, as she prefers "real people homes" to hotels. We love to have guests, getting to know each other over couchsurfing.org, but ever since I started working I have been cherishing my freetime so much, that apart from people we know, we were not hosting anybody. But the fact that Tamar didn't like staying in a hotel so much, made her seem uncomplicated and interesting. So I agreed.
Tamar Capsouto is a singer from Sderot, an Israeli city right next to Gaza. Some of her songs were included in a documentary about three women living in Israel, called "Recognition" (Hakara). Check out the trailer for the movie here. Tamar's story was really inspiring to me. She lives for what she loves, without compromises. Her voice carries all the melancholy and tragedy of the conflict in it and does not fail to make you, the listener, feel humble and a small part of something really big. We went to one of Düsseldorfs flea markets and had a really great time, as she is so full of happiness and hope, even though coming from a warzone.

One of the pictures from Tamar's blog

I went to see the movie that Sunday night and it moved me deeply. I do not know nearly enough about the conflict. The most impressive scene for me was a moment, when one of the movies heroines, Hanadi, has to run for shelter as the sirens start to roar. One second, she and her friend are chatting, the next split second, they are running. It made a deep impression on me, that split-second. How deep the constant feeling of alert must govern them. How you always have to know your nearest shelter, never being able to move carefree. I asked Tamar about it and she agreed, whenever she would move inside her city, she would know where the next bomb shelter is. Having a picnic in a park is no option for her. Still, she would never leave Sderot, as an artist she says, she has to be inside the turmoilt. She seems to see it as her mission, to write and sing about what people do to each other, her peaceful way of protesting against a violent world.
Another scene that moved me was a meeting between young Arabs and Israelis who are tired of the war they live in and it seems as if this generation might be the first to make a difference. But soon you realize that a dialogue between them is not possible, as neither side is able to forget the harm that has already been done to them. The friends and family they have lost through the counterpart's missiles have made them part of the conflict and the viewer cannot really see how these people could also be part of a solution.
A woman in the audience commented that the movie was too centered on the Arab side of the story and painted an unjust picture of Israeli Jews. I did not perceive it that way at all, showing how you always perceive it the way you are primed to. Sharon, the film's director is used to these comments and answered that a screening with a Muslim audience leads to the same reactions the other way round.

Sharon Ryba-Khan, the movie's director

Watch the movie, it might be as impressive for you as it was for me. It makes me more humble and grateful for the peaceful world I live in, even considering that Europe nowadays might not be as safe as it used to be. All the more we have to try to make it safe and peaceful.   

Slanté Dublin!

Rainbow over Ireland

Last year two friends and me made another friend who turned 30 a rather selfish gift: a girl's weekend in Dublin. We intended to go there on St. Patrick's Day, but the high costs made us move our trip into May, in the hope that the weather would be warmer by then.
I was already looking forward to being with those three very special friends of mine again. We could have even spent the weekend just around the corner and it would have been fabulous. But going to Ireland has been a dream of mine ever since I was a little girl and fell in love with Irish folk music.
The idea of grabbing an instrument anywhere and make people dance and party motivated me to try to learn the guitar once. I have no talent for making music however, so I have never really learned to play it right. The only instruments I can improvise on are my tin whistle and my Native American Flute. Singing along proves to be difficult with those however.
Dublin did not disappoint me, there was live music on every corner, in every pub, basically around the clock. And I LOVED it!

Beautiful weather in Ireland - who would have thought?

When we arrived, three of us from Cologne, to wait for the fourth to make our little shamrock complete, we went - of course- into the airport pub to have the first pints of the trip. While chatting and looking forward to meeting Pauline again we somehow naturally got to talking to the pretty couple to our right and to the English gentlemen to our left. It made me feel like home immediately and we exchanged numbers with the guys from Manchester, who had sailed from there to Dublin with their yacht. Well, you never know what you might need a yacht for, so we thought, they are funny and kind, why not have a drink later. (We stayed in contact the whole weekend and Nigel, Ian and Pete (was it Pete?) invited us over to celebrate Nigels birthday at the local yacht club, but we somehow didn't manage to get there, which might not have been a bad thing, after all it was a very posh club and we were very drunk most of the time...) Still, it was nice to check with them from time to time. And who knows, we might go to Manchester one day and it is always great to know some locals.

Once we were complete, we took the bus to the city. Public transport is not expensive in Ireland, to get to the city center by bus we paid 3.30 €. We grabbed a burrito from Saburritos, (3 Sr. North Earl), which we really enjoyed. Once we had managed to find our hostel, we did not leave again for that evening. We intended to, but ended up on the floor of the room, talking for hours. Which is the best you can do when you reunite with really good friends. It warms my heart to know how deep the connection between us four still is, even though we do not meet on a regular basis anymore like we used to, when we still lived close to each other. Our conversations cover everything, from serious crisis / health / relationships-topics to the weirdest and stupidest jokes and I love that.
(Good we only found out on the last day that you were not supposed to drink in the hostel rooms, but only in the lobby. But then again, I think we wouldn't have cared...)
Breakfast at the Jacob's Inn was better than I had expected, we could choose from cereals, musli, eggs and toast with jam or Nutella. Coffee, tea and juice were offered as well. The first day we got up early enough to join the offered free walking tour.

View from the roofterrace at the Jacob's Inn

Alan, our tour guide in front of Dublin Castle

Our guide, named Alan, wearing a woolen sweater under his shirt (wtf?) and a red head, was very passionate about Irish history and a true patriot, telling us about the Easter Rising and the Irish fight for independence. I already knew a lot about it because of school and university, but it was interesting to hear about it, while standing at the actual places where everything happened. The walking tour of about 2 hours covered most of the sights in the city, be it Dublin Castle, Temple Bar District or Trinity College. The inner city of Dublin is really not big and great for walking. Alan took us into one of his favourite pubs in the Temple Bar District (it is not called after the bar, but the"bar" in the name refers to the strip of land belonging to a guy called Temple) The Old Storehouse, 3 Crown Alley. It is a very beautiful pub and Friday noon there were still space and you could get a beer easily. The weather was a bit cloudy that day, but there was no rain, although the forecast for the weekend had been gruesome.

The Famous Temple Bar - And we didn't even go in....

After the walking tour had finished, we went for another burrito, this time at Pablo Picante, Fleet Street. It is a funny looking place with Mexican masks, looking like a mixture of wrestlers and superheroes. I have seen them before and on tv there seemed to be running a tv show they starred in as characters from the 60s, but I don't really know what they are. The burritos were really good, while the waitress there was probably the only unfriendly person we met in Dublin.

Across from the burrito place there was a beautiful looking pub, The Auld Dubliner, 24-25 Temple Bar. It was early afternoon, but when we went into the pub, it felt like ten at night in Germany. People were dancing, singing, drinking together and there was a very good singer, covering evergreens.

Alan had told us to spend a night out at the Cobblestone Pub, 77 King St N, as Temple Bar District is very touristy and not typical Irish. We liked the pub, although the interiour reminded us a lot of pubs we know from the continent. In the small concert hall next to it, there were four very Irish looking guys giving a concert. The atmosphere was a bit boring first, but we just went in and danced nonetheless. Some of their music was really good, twist mixed with rock, inviting to dance. After we had flooded the little dancefloor, not caring about making a fool of ourselves, others joined and after a while we all had a very good time. After the concert we found out that actually, you had to pay to get in, but as we were motivating people to dance and heating the atmosphere, no one really cared. The bass player was flirting heavily with one of us while still on stage and it was nice to chat with him and some friends of the band afterwards. They are called "Vagabond and Thieves" by the way.

Vagabonds and Thieves

The Shamrock in front of the Old Jameson Distillery

We walked home, having a weird conversation about what would be the last song we would want to hear before we die. The discussion ended in all of us singing "Bochum" by Herbert Grönemeyer, as well as the traditional miner's song "Das Steigerlied", dancing through Dublin at night, celebrating the city where we had all gotten to know each other.

Howth

Howth Harbour

As we had seen a lot already on Friday and we all love the sea, we decided to sleep in and then take the train to Howth, a fishing village near the sea that Andrea had read about the first time she had been to Dublin. The weather was - very surprisingly - fantastic, with over 20° and full sunshine. We grabbed ourselves some ice cream and went to the pier, to lie down in the sun. I was already thinking of buying me sunscreen - as I turn red like a lobster immediately when I am in the sun - when the clouds came and we hurriedly sought shelter in front of King Sitric Pub, E Pier, Howth, as all the tables inside were taken.

Howth right after the Storm

Hell broke loose and soon enough, water came from every side of us and we crammed inside at a two person table to finish our Fish and Chips. (We failed to eat anything Irish while being in Dublin, which I am really sad about. Ok, the Irish cuisine is not famous, but it would have been a nice opportunity...) Fish and Chips is the most Irish meal we had all weekend.

After the lunch at King Sitric, we collected some coffee about three cafés further towards the station and I can tell you, the café did not look like anything special, but Andrea got the salted caramel ice cream there and it must be some of the best ice cream I have ever had. So creamy, yummie and good! So if you are ever there, check out the kiosk-looking thing with the ice cream and try it. We walked around Howth for a bit, but as the weather promised more rain, we went to Dublin again.

Howth market - Look at all the cupcakes on the right

Now the bad weather stuck with us for the rest of the evening and on our way to the Temple bar District (to check out if it is really that horrible on weekends, to find out - yes it is!) our shoes already got drenched. We found a nice pub to sit down in the middle of the Temple Bar District after a while - already feeling frustrated by all the drunken, exhausting tourists (like us, haha), we stranded at Bad Ass Cafe Temple Bar, 9-11 Crown Alley. There was a duo playing more traditional Irish songs with a guitar and a banjo, taking over the fiddle parts, which was odd at first, but had its very own charme.
Dublin was full of bachelor parties that day and one looked more miserable than the next. I was so happy to have my "hens" with me, we had a great time, inspite of wet feet.

Bad Ass Bar - Cheers

Temple Bar District

On the way home to the hostel we passed a rather dodgy looking pub quite near to the Jacob's Inn, so we thought why not to go in to have a nightcap before goint to bed. And what can I tell you? It turned out to be our best night in Dublin! A trio of young musicians, one playing the guitar, a petuite girl the fiddle and a guy with a beautiful voice, looking a bit like a mixture of a hobbit and Jack Black, playing the Bodhrán, a traditional Irish percussion instrument. They were crouched in a corner, playing traditional Irish folk. And people around were going crazy. Everyone was dancing, singing along, cheering.

Musicians at The Celt

One groom-to-be even came forward and sang "Seven drunken Nights" with the band, which I thought really brave and also not badly sung. It was a great atmosphere and somehow the way I had always thought Ireland to be like. We were thrown out of the pub (The Celt on Talbot Street) along with the band and walked home, badly drunk. (Watching the homepage of the pub now I want to go back there immediately. People were great, it was a cozy place and Irish music does something to me, I cannot really grasp it, but it has always touched me in a very melancholic, longing way.

The Celt

Sunday, our travel home day, we were all rather tired and hungover. I was really sad our trip was over, but I made two vows that day: it was not my last stay in Ireland or Dublin and we will do a weekend trip annually, the four of us. Can't wait for the next one. You girls are the best :-) And thank you for the pictures!

In Düsseldorf I checked the possibilities to see Irish Folk bands perform, but our live-scene is disappointingly small. Spotify helped me to get over my Fernweh a bit. Check out this touching performance in the Royal Albert Hall of the Auld Triangle.

90 Days Challenge by Mark Lauren Halftime - And some Lindy Hop

I know, I know. I haven't been writing in quite some time.

The reason might be that I had a few days of motivation black hole, meaning I just couldn't bring myself to do the workouts and eat according to the plan. Last weekend we have been on a nice trip with the van, as Thursday was a public holiday here and we had taken the Friday off work. I am proud to say that I managed one workout "on the road", which I did in the van. Space was scarce and therefore it wasn't my best workout ever, but I was glad I did it.

We saw the preparation for a fox-hunt, all the riders dressed up and excited

When I went back to work things went downhill. Every day when I came home I was so tired, I could not even lift my arms, let alone lift myself onto my arms. I collapsed on the couch and fell asleep immediately. Three days in a row. No idea where this came from. Maybe it had to do with the weather changing or with some cold my body was fighting off.
After this short backlapse I managed to get back on track however. My nutrition is also getting better again. We are eating a lot of protein, cooking with veggies and good meat and I can feel that my body has much more energy again. Maybe the bad eating habits a few days before made me suffer from the tiredness. And now I am already at day 45! Wow, halftime! I feel like it is only the start of a longer journey however.

The last three days I managed to go back to my plan and redo the workouts I missed. Yesterday's workout was called "Burner" and I can tell you, nomen est omen. My arms were burning the whole day afterwards. A pretty good feeling after days of laziness.
In the evening I went to a Lindy Hop concert of Meschia Lake and The Little Big Horns. Everybody was dancing like crazy, it was awesome! I have danced some Lindy Hop before, but that was about ten years ago, so you can imagine how much I sucked on the dancefloor! The great thing about Lindy Hop is, that no one cared. People in the scene are really cool and helpful. After some time I got better and more confident. It is so much fun, I want to convinve Mr. Schön of joining me in a class. Cross your fingers that he agrees! Dresses and hairstyles are also great to look at. Some guys even danced in woolen suits or leather jackets. Knowing how hot I already felt, they must have been close to their melting point. But, no pain no gain! I love men in suspenders and with rockabilly hairstyles. Some of them looked so cool, dancing with their beautiful partners. I sometimes took breaks from the dancing, just to look at them (and to take a break I have to admit...). The singer from New Orleans`voice blew me away. Even while talking, her husky voice baffled me. Check her out here. In the video you can see that even without a mic her voice is so strong, unbelievable, as are her dance moves. Really cool! I had never been at a concert before, where everyone was dancing like that. It must be a lot of fun when you perform on stage and see this kind of reaction.

Spring was really pleasant those last few days and we had the first big picnic in a park nearby. The baby in our bunch will soon be a year old already. As his mum is too busy with everyday life I will make him a photo- and memory album of his first year on Earth. I adore the album my parents made for me, which might be why I think this so important. It is great fun to choose the pictures and arrange them, more like in a scrapbook. If I were paid for that I would be happy to do it all day long.
With all the working out and the good weather, there hasn't been a lot of time for knitting lately, but I want to get back to that during the next two days, which are holidays in Germany as well.

Did someone say "barbecue"?

Have a great weekend!